December 18, 2002

At the Risk of Offending Every Die-hard Fan
Roxy M.

Look..I have to admit, I'm not a hardcore fan of the Tolkien books, although I do respect their place in English literature. I can honestly say the only book I read was Tolkien's Simaril-Simalrilli-Sima-something. And even that took me about a month to finish. I've only read about seven chapters out of The Hobbit, and haven't even gone through half of The Two Towers. Wait..Said that wrong. I haven't even gone through half of the first CHAPTER of The Two Towers before I returned it to the library. I just liked the little maps and things, and occasionally I flipped through the books to catch names that I was familiar with - you know, for a kick.

No. I'm not a Tolkien hater - I'm just your average person.

I enjoyed The Fellowship of the Ring, and I've read a couple of points here that really persecute the whole thing. For Example: Arwen has more parts than she did in the book! Oh my God!That's sacriligious! Tolkien must be spinning in his grave! OR They left parts out that were absolutely CRUCIAL to the plot OR - well..You get the point.

You know, at the risk of offending every single die-hard fan of Tolkein's works, I have to say - some of you guys are seriously under-appreciating what has just been done on the big screen.

Look at it this way:

A seriously historical piece of writing has been made into a film. It, unlike the book (which only needs a couple of pages to describe an object: sword, cloak, rope, ring..etc. and the rest is up to you), has to take serious attention to detail and make it visually appealling to a broad audience. Do you know how hard that is? So what if they cut some scenes out? I'm sure some of you are familiar with Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet and how it spanned 4 HOURS. Tell me this, do you honestly think that the average person (me) would sit in a theatre, with sticky floors, uncomfortable chairs, and a bladder full of two week old soda that had been given to me at the counter, for 4 HOURS? Honestly. I do believe that if everything that everyone wanted to stay in the movie stayed, it would have destroyed an important platform: the popularity factor. What would you be saying now if, perhaps, the biggest film to hit theatres was the biggest bomb? What if they kept everything in the movie, hm? What would you be saying? I'm sure that in the week after seeing it, you would have been telling all your friends 'God, it was so long, my leg cramped and I almost had a spasmatic attack.' Would you be able to enjoy the incredible atmosphere and additions made to the film with one cheek of your butt being asleep and uncomfortably prickly? No! And, what if there had to have been an intermission? I'm sure many average people would have completely lost the atmosphere of the first half while they watched the second - that's just assuming that they'd STAY for the second. I mean, people DO have lives.

"..Hmm..Sit in a theatre for another two hours, get sweaty, while all my limbs fall asleep OR go home, take a nap, and wait for my half-an-hour sitcom to come on or go out with my friends for two hours." I have to tell you, the romantic impact of having a classic tale unfold on screen can only last so long - and I'm afraid it would have burnt out before the end of the movie.

Look, movies can never be like the book. Because books allow you to visualize in a place where budget-cuts, casting problems, costume costs, time limits, public appeal, and the long and troublesome scripting processes are non-existant. But in the real world, it's much more
complicated.

Basically, I'm just saying, stop trying to pick at every-little-detail. It's hard to enjoy anything that way. If we all did that all the time, you wouldn't make friends with someone because they have a zit on their nose. Or they're vertically challenged. Or they have nappy hair. Or some other tiny detail that we automatically assume ruins the whole picture of what we hypnotically determine to be 'perfect' through what we have read, or understood, to be right.

But let me tell you this. I want each of you to get out your own copy of the Fellowship of the Ring (the theatre-version), put it in the VCR, watch it without criticism - and fully appreciate what an awesome film it really was.


And one last thing:

All those people who just criticize the film because they think it is their DUTY to the book? Or those people influenced by those people to go out and spread that message? Get your own ideas about things. Look at me! I'm offending pretty much everyone! And I don't care! Because it's MY opinion. Never be afraid to say something that might be a little controversial to the majority. Hey, if you want to be another newbie to be assimilated with the heroic idea of standing up for the unrealistic standards of the book, so you can be accepted by a bunch of people who consider themselves to be scholars of Tolkien's work: FINE. It's always easier to just go along with everything. Be a sheep. But you know what happens to sheep? Lamb chops.